Published on July 1st, 20130
Omnivore Pin-up: Fred, 19, Surrey
Soulful yet athletic Fred, 19, is soon to embark on a history degree at St Andrews, which prides itself as ”Britain’s top match-making university”. Get in there quick, before the Middleton-wannabes snap him up, by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org and quoting Box no. 01072.
What are you reading?
Nostromo by Joseph Conrad. The true sign of a good book is that you can still sort of enjoy it even when you haven’t got a clue what’s going on.
What have you just finished reading?
Scoop, Evelyn Waugh.
What will you read next?
Need to read up on all the things I’ve pretended to know about for my history degree. This is going to be the academic equivalent of Stalin’s 5 year plans because up until now I’ve mostly lied about the history books I’ve read. I’ll probably start with something by Tom Holland. He’s good.
Which author do you have a crush on?
Looking at pictures of the author or even reading their bio is the equivalent of going onto the DVD extras after a film and seeing how it was made. It’s like going to the circus and then seeing the clowns afterwards crying over a bottle of Vodka round the back. I don’t want to know.
What’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever read?
I once got told off for opening the classroom window when Mrs Thompson was reading a particularly saucy bit between Heathcliff and Cathy in Wuthering Heights. Other than that the only thing that springs to mind is Katie Price’s biography You Only Live Once. The chapter where she meets Peter in the celebrity jungle is a beautiful marriage of unashamed eroticism and romantic enchantment. Katie was in the right place at the right time, riding carefree on the crest of a magnificent wave.
Which book would you give someone you’re trying to impress?
I don’t read of course, but I can if you want me to. Do you want me to like reading? Because I will if it means we can get together.